Top 9 Benefits of having MS

1. Your kids no longer give you the excuse, "Mom I have a headache", "yea, well I have MS as soon as you can beat that you are going to school.
   
2. Your spouse can use you as an excuse to get out of pretty much anything.  My wife's MS is acting up.
   
3. You are no longer asked to drive on field trips.
   
4. No one asks you to drive at all anymore, but they always take you with them -- for the parking.
   
5. You no longer have to sneak around to smoke pot.
   
6. You save money.  Your tremors will do all the work, so no need in buying a blender.
   
7. You lose weight from not drinking all those calories at parties, your balance is so off, you already appear drunk.
   
8. It is mandatory for you to have GPS, even for walking.
   
9. Your kids will always want to hold your hand. . . cuz they don't want you to fall, wander off or embarrass them.
   

You Know You Have MS When:

• Your tremors make you masterpieces look more like Jackson Pollock paintings.
  
• Conversations are usually short.  People don't really want to know how you are doing.
  
• Your bladder problems get so bad, people begin to think you are vain from all your trips to the bathroom.
  
• Your problems concentrating make you not able to remember the. . . What was the question again?
  
• Your fatigue is so bad that you can't even roll over to eat that last piece of chocolate cake sitting on your nightstand.
  
• Your shot night doesn't include Tequila.
  
• Your muscle stiffness makes it so the only marathon you are doing these days is the "CSI" Marathon on Spike TV.
  
• Your double vision makes you think you have sets of twins.
  
• You start Googling MS Sucks, only to find out it is a porn site, but you don't care.  There is plenty of time to go to the real site www.multiplesclerosissucks.com later.
  
• Your children are the youngest people in the world to know about Myelin and Oligodendrocytes.